Dear Dominic,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it When you put cuffs on me with George Bush and his wife and sat on my father. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that we're cousins. I'm returning Your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep The results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I Always will try to forget our friendship.

Go and drown yourself
Jenny